Regret

It's times like this, sleepless nights, where I lie awake and think of all the choices that I have made in my stupid little life.

I have made some bad ones, and I have made some that have gotten me to places that are still questionably good or bad.

Series of events in my life got me here, the question is, am I happy?

I look back at my life and wonder if there was really ever a period of time where I was happy.

Perhaps I had a sense of happiness, but was I truly happy?

I know, I as a person, cannot make everyone happy. There are so many fucking roles to play, and I seldom and ever good enough.

Daughter, friend, student, now girlfriend.

I don't know how to play a single one right.

I'm not an over achiever in any of the fields, and the sad truth is that most people at least excell in one of those areas.

I test luke warm to chilly in all them areas.

I bought a car today, I'm thinking if it can make it frim here to there, it can make it from there to here every now and then.

I dread though that I think it's too late to makes those changes.

The thing is in all odds in consideration, I would loose more leaving chicago then loose staying in chicago.

The excahnge rates just seem to be a lot higher.

I don't know what to do anymore...

I just don't know what happiness is, and what I should do to attain it.

1:29 a.m. - 2003-07-29

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next